Finding community and building positive relationships online is a major part of many young people’s lives. But how do you ensure they do this safely?
Martha Evans (Anti-Bullying Alliance), Ashley Rolfe (Kidscape) and Allen Tsui (Willow Brook School) share their insights and tips for parents in this expert article.
In this article
- Benefits and opportunities for young people communicating online
- The differences between offline and online communities
- Tips for parents to support kids in safe online communities
- Examples of safe online communities for kids and teens
- Supporting resources
What are the benefits and opportunities of communicating online?
Online communication is a lifeline for many children and young people. It offers opportunities to connect with others who share their interests, access peer support, express themselves creatively and maintain friendships across distances. For some, especially those who feel isolated or bullied offline, it can be a space to feel seen, heard and included.
It’s super important to recognise the benefits of the online world. These include access to a wealth of educational resources at their fingertips, opportunities to socialise via apps and games and development of digital literacy skills. Additionally, they can benefit from charity support networks, global awareness and the awesome convenience of communication.
Online communication tools and apps have made our real world a much, much smaller place. Distance is irrelevant when we can message, speak or see each other from wherever we are to whoever is in our network of contacts.
For children joining Secondary schools in September, having a mobile phone means having the ability to join their virtual classroom and year group. This can help them quickly and easily share ideas about their classes and homework tasks.
How does ‘community’ online differ from offline?
Online communities often centre around shared identities, experiences or interests. They can also offer continuity, connection and affirmation for children in care or those with SEND, especially if they’ve experienced instability or exclusion in offline settings. When properly moderated and inclusive, digital platforms can allow these young people to maintain important relationships and find supportive communities where they feel safe and valued.
Communities in online spaces can provide a sense of belonging that isn’t always available locally. Unlike offline spaces, online communities can be more fluid and less bound by geography or age. This brings both opportunities and risks including bullying and other online harms, making regulations for platforms, guidance and support from trusted adults even more important.
Safe online communities can be vibrant spaces where young people can connect, share and support each other. Often, online communities offer more flexibility and variety to engage than offline communities.
Online spaces can also be incredibly supportive for children in care or those with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND) by providing safe and brave environments where they can build relationships, often access resources and connect with those who share similar experiences.
Communities have been traditionally built by individuals coming together with their shared values or interests. Offline, communities require a physical location to meet. From 2020, the world was forced into making greater use of technology which opened up new opportunities for communities. Joining communities is now more accessible without the need for a physical space or travel to join a community.
Moderated support groups may help people with different struggles receive intervention and support. I know from personal experience that those with long term health conditions or who face bereavement can find solace and support through some incredible networks, providing an outlet to speak about and share their experiences.
What can parents and carers do to support community online?
- Take an active interest in your child’s digital life: Ask who they’re talking to, what platforms they enjoy and how it makes them feel.
- Encourage kindness and respect in all online interactions and model these behaviours yourself.
- Talk openly about what to do if things go wrong online. Additionally, let them know they can come to you without fear of judgement or punishment.
- Help them explore age-appropriate, inclusive platforms that promote positive social interaction.
- Stay informed. Platforms and risks evolve quickly, but so do the opportunities.
Stay informed about bullying behaviours
- The ABA has created a toolkit for parents and carers to navigate bullying among children. You can access this guide here.
- You can also use our interactive parent tool to support your understanding of bullying online.
Children are never too young to start thinking, learning and talking about friendships, this includes online friendships as they get older. Be curious about who your child is friends with online, and what they’re saying/discussing. If something sounds like it could be harmful, or it could be unacceptable, mention it to your child and talk it through. Encourage them to form friendships with people who make them feel good about themselves.
Parents and carer support is massively important in your child’s life and they need to know if something goes wrong you’ll be there to listen. If they ever raise issues about bullying, please visit our page on helping your child with bullying to learn what to do next.
Talk to children and young people about the way they use technology to connect with others. My contribution to this topic has been in part written with ideas and suggestions from the amazing young people I work with as well as my own family.
Adults must work together with young people collectively to interact positively and understand what to do when any interaction, contact or communication creates feelings of worry, intimidation or sadness.
What are some safe online communities for kids and teens?
The following communities are designed to support safer interactions online. These spaces are heavily moderated to ensure young people feel supported.
- Ditch the Label’s forum: Branded as “the internet’s safe space,” the forums on Ditch the Label are open to young people aged 13 to 25. The platform uses strict moderation (human and AI) to keep conversations safe. Users can only communicate in public forums, not privately.
- Childline’s message boards: The message boards are moderated and screened every day from 9 AM to 11:30 PM. Messages posted outside of this time won’t go live until someone can check them. Children under 12 can use the boards, though Childline recommend being 12 or older to navigate potentially confusing topics.
- The Mix’s discussion boards: Similar to Ditch the Label’s forum, the discussion boards on The Mix are open to 13-25s. It’s supported by a range of Staff, Support Group Supervisors and Boards Moderators. Like Childline, The Mix also has a helpline and other forms of support available.
For more, explore our guide to social networks made for children.
