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Support safe online gaming for children in care

Help care-experienced children benefit from playing online games while minimising the risks.

A teenager plays video games on their laptop.

Quick safety tips

Help children with care experience benefit more from the games they play with these quick tips.

Set parental controls

Popular video games and consoles have built-in parental controls to manage spending, content, screen time and more.

Balance screen time

Ensure that playing games is only one part of their digital life. Encourage a range of activities balanced with offline hobbies.

Build a network

Encourage them to have a good support network that they can turn to as needed, but make sure you also check in on who they speak to online to keep influences from others in games positive.

Inside this guide

Challenges for care-experienced children

Many children who play games online enjoy the social aspect of gameplay. For children in care, online games can serve as a constant as other things around them change.

Because of their unique situation, parents or carers might face additional challenges when supporting a child in care or who cares for family.

Children in care might look for players in online games to provide stable contact and interaction (good or bad) in place of physical interaction.

This might be due to distrust in caregiving adults. As such, a cared-for child might prefer advice from online friends. However, the person on the other end might recognise and exploit this, making harmful demands.

As a part of building connections online, a child with care experience might accidentally overshare personal information. This can leave them at risk of harm like any child, but even more so if they have restrictions placed on them around who can contact them due to their specific case.

Children might overshare through posts, images or usernames. For example, a gamer tag like “janedoe0904” can reveal a birthdate of September 2004.

Additionally, someone seeking to contact the cared-for child might pretend to be someone else to do so.

Benefits and risks for care-experienced children

Online multiplayer games are central to many children in care. They offer many benefits to children’s wellbeing through social features and skill-building.

However, games with chat or sharing features can also expose care-experienced children to risks such as cyberbullying, abuse and exploitation.

For some, online gaming is a crucial social outlet, especially if they feel isolated due to their care experiences. So, it’s important to understand that groomers and abusers might exploit these features to target and isolate gamers.

Benefits of gaming online

Finding community

Online games let care-experienced children connect with people who have similar interests — namely the game itself. Playing, chatting and cooperating with other players can support positive experiences .

Managing wellbeing

The immersive nature of video games can give children in care or who are carers themselves the opportunity to escape reality and enjoy downtime. In some cases, it can be used to help children to de-stress and unwind.

Improving skills

Video games can help children in care develop key skills such as problem solving, coordination and collaboration, which can support them across other areas.

Being creative

Many games now let players develop their own games, modifications or stories, letting them express themselves while developing their passion.

Risks of playing online games

Children in care might face risks across content, contact, conduct and commerce. These risks increase depending on the types of games they play.

For example, children who play multiplayer games will face contact risks while those who play offline are not likely to experience the same.

Content risks

Content risks in online gaming often relate to the type of games the play. A game for older age groups, for instance, might have more violence, sexual content or inappropriate language.

Every video game has a PEGI rating (or ESRB in the United States). This tells you the minimum age someone should be before playing based on the content it includes.

If a child doesn’t have a consistent home or carer, they might not have key parental controls to protect them from adult games. The major issue is exposing children to themes that they can’t properly process or understand.

Carers might also struggle to implement restrictions if a child is underage but has already played an inappropriate game.

Also more likely in adult video games is hate speech or abusive language. Normalising these types of comments can mean children struggle to recognise when they need to take action.

While not all hate speech or abuse will be directed at them, seeing it used on a regular basis could influence how they speak to others. They are also less likely to report such content if they’re not encouraged to do so.

Contact risks

With any social space, there are contact risks. Children in care who use online games to connect with others might struggle to recognise and take action against potential harm.

Online games often require in-app purchases, which children in care might struggle to access due to lack of funds. Unfortunately, groomers and abusers might exploit this knowledge by offering gifts and encouraging private conversations.

Previous experiences of maltreatment might leave children in care more vulnerable to online abuse and harassment overall, especially if they’ve shared they are in care.

A child in care might have restrictions about who they can talk to from their birth family or other areas of life. However, the anonymity of online games can make it easier for them to stay in contact by pretending they’re someone else.

Alternatively, a child might pick a username that includes their real name or birthdate, which can identify them. Or, they might share personal information in chats with people who they don’t know the true identity of.

Conduct and commerce risks

Children with care experience often have free reign to all sorts of content and online activities. While setting parental controls can help, it only works if there’s consistency across the adults in their lives.

A child might wish to play a video game for adults, which can leave them open to greater risk of grooming or exploitation. Extended gameplay in these areas can also reinforce negative behaviours or the use of harmful language against others.

They might struggle to understand why something is inappropriate or when they should report, block or stop playing altogether.

Most games include built-in purchases meant to enhance gameplay. This could include boosts, skins and items that give players an upperhand.

If a care-experienced child has access to online banking or other forms of spending, they might accidentally overspend on virtual items.

Additionally, children in care are more likely to access gambling websites. Wanting to make more money might lead them to taking financial risks that leave them worse-off.

Children in care are especially vulnerable to cyber scams, particularly in gaming, where fraudsters exploit in-game purchases to steal data and money.

Abusers might also target a child they know is vulnerable by promising money in exchange for something such as nude images or access to their online gaming accounts.

How to prevent potential harm

Risk doesn’t always lead to harm, but a collaborative, proactive approach to children’s online activity can help create a safer online gaming environment.

Explore practical things you can do and conversations you can have to prevent risk from becoming harm.

Actions to take

If your child plays video games online or offline, you can use the following tools and strategies to keep those experiences positive.

Create an agreement

It's important for everyone in the child's life to agree on digital rules. This works best when everyone’s roles, expectations and consequences are clear and consistently enforced.

Set parental controls

Parental controls exist across games consoles and the games themselves. You can set content limits, restrict communication, manage in-game spending and limit or monitor screen time.

Learn about games

Learn about the games they like to play along with the potential risks, in-game safety tools and other similar games. You can do this by asking them or reading up on them online.

Play together

Ask them to show you how to play as a part of building your relationship with them. It's a great way to understand their interests, spend quality time together and get informed.

Conversations to have

Talking about online gaming, along with the risks and benefits can help prepare your child for managing their time online. It’s an important part of developing their digital resilience and critical thinking.

Conversations about their games do not to be in response to something that has happened. In fact, we encourage parents and carers to make these conversations a normal part of life — like asking them about their school day.

  • Ask them to show you how the game works.
  • Ask them what they enjoy the game. Are there any similar games they’d want to try?
  • Talk about the friends they have in-game. What do they like about them? Where do they know them from?

Regardless of the conversation, always remain calm and avoid accusations through words or tone.

Instead of telling them how to stay safe, a conversation is a great way to encourage them to take responsibility. Ask them to show you what they do to keep gaming positive for them.

This can help you gauge their understanding of online safety. It can also serve as an opportunity for you to offer solutions. This is especially important for care-experienced teens, who like to have more ownership of their time online.

Make it clear that you’re their to support them, and that you’re happy to work with them to make sure they enjoy their online gaming time.

Gameplay is only one part of the online gaming experience. So, ask your child to share their wider enjoyment with you.

Do they follow particular YouTubers who play games they enjoy? Do they like watching gameplay tutorials or ‘play with me’ videos?

Together, explore the platforms they use to talk about their favourite games, communicate with other players or watch live streams. Popular platforms for gaming communities include:

How to deal with harmful issues

If your child does experience an online harm while they game, there are things you can do to help them deal with it:

  1. Report content and block users. Encourage children to block users who make them feel negative about anything — even ‘friends’. They can also report users and content anonymously to make the games safer for themselves and those around them. Remind them to also tell you so you can take any additional action if necessary.
  2. Reflect and re-evaluate. Once you’ve reported the issue, it’s important to talk about it (and keep talking about it). Together, explore ways to prevent the harm in the future and potential settings to enhance safety online.
  3. Provide someone to talk to. Some children in care might struggle to share their concerns with their carer. In addition to the options available through foster care, offer suggestions for other places they can chat anonymously such as the message boards on Childline or the Ditch the Label forums.

Activities to do with your child

Support online gaming for children in care with these activities that you can do together.

A family sits on their sofa, holding various devices and a dog sitting at their feet

Get personalised advice and ongoing support

The first step to ensure your child’s online safety is getting the right guidance. We’ve made it easy with our ‘My Family’s Digital Toolkit.’