What to do if your child is contacted by a stranger

If your child told you about a stranger contacting them and you stopped the communication, your child might feel like they’ve done something wrong. This could be particularly true if you have a rule in place about not talking to people they don’t know. Some children with additional needs might find it challenging to move past this feeling.

• Praise them telling you. Explain that they did nothing wrong and actually made a great choice telling you. Clarify that the rule is there to protect them and that them telling you has helped to protect them.
• Reflect on the incident. Talk about what happened. If they reveal anything new, thank them for telling you and assure them that telling you everything is the best way for you to help. Either assure them that they did everything right or discuss what they could do better, so they’re prepared if something similar happens later.

If someone harmful contacted your child or manipulated them, they might fear the digital spaces they once found comfort in. They might worry that they will do something wrong or that another harmful person will contact them. This could lead to emotional dysregulation or avoidance of digital spaces.

• Review use of on-platform tools. Showing your child how they can keep themselves safe and avoid harmful strangers can empower them to take action. Review blocking and reporting tools, and explain that strangers will not know if they take these actions.
• Practise identifying negative behaviour. This can help your child feel more confident in spotting harmful people, which can empower them in their time online. Start by making a list of positive behaviour and negative behaviour together, and display it somewhere they use their device as a reminder.

After contact with a stranger, children might become anxious in online spaces, especially if the stranger’s messages made them feel uncomfortable. This can result in them avoiding platforms they used to enjoy. Help them rebuild their confidence with the following advice.

• Set up ‘contact’ rules for strangers. Decide on actions your child can take if a stranger contacts them again in the future. For example, they shouldn’t respond to the person and should tell you.
• Set up parental controls. Put controls on your child’s account to limit who can comment on their content, reply to them or send them private messages. Your child might also benefit from you showing them that you have the control now to prevent strangers from contacting them again.