While most of your child’s time online will be free of harm, it is a risk. So use the guide below to help your child build skills to recognise harm and keep their time online positive.
Research shows that children with additional needs report many positives with going online, often more than their peers. However, these children also more frequently encounter a range of harm online.
Harm refers to things online that negatively impact children’s physical, emotional, social or developmental wellbeing.
Your child might need support with:
Identifying signs that another user might be seeking to do them harm;
Recognising content that could negatively impact them;
Knowing when they need to take action;
Identifying which actions to take and when.
Understanding ‘red flags’
While some children with additional needs might be able to identify emotional cues which tell them something is wrong, others need more concrete examples. This can often come in the shape of physical cues instead.
Explore the following strategies to see what might work best for your child.
Use examples of harm they’ve experienced in the past (such as bullying or scams) to explore what physical reactions they felt. Things like a racing heart, pain in their shoulders (from tensing up) or a sick feeling in their stomach can all be their body telling them there’s harm.
Whether experiencing physical cues or feeling confused about content or interactions, decide on steps your child should take.
For example, if they are talking to someone and the person says something that confuses them, they should stop talking to that person. Your child could block them or come and tell you so you can decide on next steps together.
Using a traffic light system, mood metre or fizzy drink analogy, help your child monitor their mood. If they start to move towards the red or ‘explosion’ feeling, that is a sign to take a break and check-in with you.
Every child is different, so experiment with what works for yours. Try to remain consistent with each method for at least a couple of weeks before moving onto trying something else. New routines and strategies take time to become habit. This is true for all children but sometimes more so for kids with additional needs.
Identifying tricky behaviours
Social cues and understanding nuanced behaviours can be challenging for some children. If someone is targeting your child such as in cases of cyberbullying, grooming or sextortion, this can mean they’re more at risk of coming to harm.
Decide on strategies below to help your child identify tricky behaviours.
These are things that people online might say that appear friendly but are usually harmful. This includes asking your child to chat on a different platform, telling them they love them or their appearance, or saying that something is a secret.
Create a list of examples of language or phrases that mean your child should stop talking to a stranger or friend immediately, even if the interactions make them feel happy or important.
When someone tells your child to do something quickly (like sending images, clicking links or sharing information), these are pressures. Talk with your child about pressures and that good people will not make them feel pressured.
Decide on what they should do if they identify pressure language, such as blocking the user and telling you.
Together, decide on boundaries around communication, including not sharing information about their condition(s), which can make them a target.
Other rules could include not meeting up offline with people they only know online or not moving to a different platform to continue chatting – for example, moving from Roblox to Discord.
It’s very important to regularly check-in on your child’s online interactions. Explore their friends lists and ask about who they’re playing games with. When setting boundaries and rules, remember to repeat and remind even after it becomes habit.
Creating an escape plan
Your child needs to know that no matter what happens online, there are things they can do to get help. They should never feel like they have to keep accidents or harm to themselves.
Explore some things to consider below for tips that work for your family.
If your child identifies something as harmful because it’s confusing, scary or is a cue you’ve discussed, encourage them to shut the laptop lid, flip their phone or tablet over, or turn off the TV.
A physical action can be a good first step to interrupt potential harm.
Show your child where to report and block in their favourite apps and games. They can use these tools even if they’re not sure if the person or content was harmful. Asking you afterwards can let you take action together.
Often, children will hide mistakes or harm they’ve experienced because they worry they’ll get in trouble or get devices taken away. To encourage honesty and open communication, assure them they will never get in trouble for being honest and asking for help.
If your child experiences harm or has questions when you’re not around, make sure they have other people they can talk to. Examples include another parent, an aunt or uncle, an older sibling or a teacher.
It’s a good idea to talk with these adults to let them know they’re one of your child’s trusted adults and discuss any expectations that you have.
Develop escape plan strategies over time alongside practise recognising harmful content or people. Regular check-ins and visual reminders can help your child remember different habits, routines and safety actions.
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