How to talk about cyberbullying with children
Conversation tips & starters for parents
Get advice on talking with your child about cyberbullying and learn how to keep the conversation going.
Quick tips
Follow these quick tips to have a conversation about cyberbullying with 6-10-year-olds.
Talk somewhere neutral
One-off face-to-face conversations can ring alarm bells, so talk while out driving, over dinner or while out for a walk.
Stay calm
If your child is a target or has bullied someone else, stay calm. Ask questions and get all necessary information before acting.
Check in regularly
If bullying happens, make sure to report and deal with it, and then make sure to follow up and check-in regularly.
In this guide
Scroll below to read the full guide or jump ahead by choosing a section below.
Before the conversation
Talking about cyberbullying with younger children can be tough, especially if they struggle to recognise bullying behaviours. To make the most of the conversation, prepare first.
- Plan what you want to say: Try jotting down what you want to say before you start the conversation to help you focus and make it relevant to your child.
- Choose the right time and place: Choose a place to chat where you’re already spending time together, such as in the car or at dinner. This can help it feel more natural and less like a lecture, which can encourage your child to open up.
- Have multiple conversations: Young children have shorter attention spans and might struggle to process a long conversation. So, having multiple bite-sized conversations rather than a single long one can make talking about cyberbullying easier for both you and your child.
- Know what to do: Explore reporting and blocking tools on the apps and platforms your child uses, so that you can show them how to keep themselves safe. If necessary, know when to take bullying reports further — such as to your child’s school or the police.
During the conversation
Once you feel prepared, it’s time to chat about cyberbullying with your child. The following tips can help keep your conversations more positive and meaningful.
Ask open-ended questions to let your child freely share their experiences. Giving them space to share often encourages them to elaborate on what they do and see online. This creates a better picture of their experiences to help you steer the conversation in the relevant direction.
Asking questions with simple yes or no answers might bring the conversation to an end. So, think about questions like ‘how does that make you feel?’ instead of ‘does that make you sad?’ Follow up ‘why’ questions can help as well.
Ask your child what they enjoy online to better understand their experiences and show an interest. This can help them feel more comfortable sharing openly, rather than feeling they need to hide things.
With knowledge of their interests, you can then lead the conversation to whether their experiences have ever been negative. This then lets you discuss the ways they can keep themselves safe or get help.
If your child shares upsetting or concerning news, stay calm. If you show anger or fear, your child might shut down and stop sharing with you.
Instead, take a deep breath and ask those open-ended questions to help encourage more sharing. This can help reassure them that they were right to open up to you.
Realistic examples can help your child better understand cyberbullying. Give them tangible scenarios that they can compare their experiences to. These can come from your own experiences as a child, through a scenario you read about or something you’ve made up.
Some children, especially those who are neurodivergent, might benefit from roleplay scenarios as well. You can see more guidance for vulnerable children here.
For tips on what you can say to start the conversation, read our guide below.
After the conversation
Whether you’ve had a long conversation or a series of short ones, it doesn’t stop there. Remember to take action based on what your child has told you.
Stay engaged with your child’s online life after the conversation, even if they tell you they have no experience with cyberbullying.
As your child gets older, their risk of exposure to cyberbullying increases. So, making a habit of discussing their online life while they’re young can increase the likelihood of them coming to you if something goes wrong later.
Pay attention to any changes in your child’s behaviour, which could indicate experience with cyberbullying or similar harms. Being stressed during device use, withdrawing socially or device avoidance can all be signs of cyberbullying. Learn about more cyberbullying signs here.
Review the blocking and reporting features on the platforms your child uses and teach them how to use them. You can also go through the parental controls settings of these platforms to make your child’s online experience safer.
Monitoring apps can give greater insight into what your child is exposed to online and can alert you if they receive harmful or inappropriate messages.
Professional support can also be found at Childline, where your child can speak to a counsellor.
If your child reveals that they have experienced cyberbullying, either as a victim or a perpetrator, take steps to tackle it.
Explain to your child what you’re doing and why, so that they understand how you can help them. These actions might include:
- Screenshotting any evidence of cyberbullying
- Blocking and reporting cyberbullies (whether they’re known to your child or are strangers)
- Contacting your child’s school if it involves a classmate
- Supervising screen use
- Adjusting parental controls
- Contacting the police non-emergency line (call 101) in extreme cases.
Avoid banning device or app use if your child is a victim. These spaces often provide a lot of positive benefits even if they’re also a place where bullying occurs. However, if your child does not meet minimum age requirements (such as 13+ on social media), it’s a good idea to delay access.
How to start conversations about cyberbullying
Use the guide below for more guidance and cyberbullying conversation starters to help you chat with your child.
