Talking about pornography with kids

Guidance to support 6-10-year-olds

Talking about online pornography can be a tricky subject to discuss with young children. However, it’s important to be open and ready to answer questions if children stumble across it.

Learn how to effectively talk about online pornography with children aged 6-10.

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How to talk about porn with children

By the age of 9, many children report already seeing pornography online. So, it's important to have age-appropriate conversations.

Talk about puberty

Be reassuring when talking to them about the changes they will experience, try to relate it to your own experience;
Make sure they know you are there to answer any questions they have if they are concerned;
Using a good book could help illustrate the more technical parts of puberty.

Explore what healthy relationships mean

Share your values on what a good relationship looks like, i.e. it must have trust, honesty, respect, communication, and understanding;
Talk with your child about what it means to be a good friend;
Be a good role model and give examples of some of these that they can recognise.

What does ‘consent’ mean?

Talk to them about respecting boundaries and what is and isn’t appropriate when it comes to touching;
Make sure they know that they have a say over their own bodies;
Talk to them explicitly about when it’s appropriate to be naked and why certain areas of the body are private and shouldn’t be touched by others;
The NSPCC PANTS activity guide is a simple tool to help you discuss this with your child;
Watch this video with your child to help them understand:

Teach them to think critically

Make them aware that not all the images and content they see online is real;
Encourage them to question what they see and not take anything at face value online;
Ask them to consider who posted the content and why and how they felt about what they read or saw.

Parents' guide to talking about pornography with kids

Dos & Don’ts to consider

Dos

Do:

talk about it in the context of relationships and communication
talk about it in terms of safety
make it a habit to point out that they should feel empowered to decide what happens to their body
Do get them to get into the habit of chatting to you about how they feel

Don'ts

Do not:

make it taboo to talk about relationships and sex
make it something to be fearful of

We’ve created an advice hub to offer parents more tips and advice to help protect children and young people from online pornography.

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More to explore

Support on site

Digital Resilience Toolkit

Online pornography advice hub

Conversation starters to encourage kids to share their digital lives

Related web links

Visit the AMAZE website for age-appropriate information about puberty for tweens and parents