Talking about pornography with teens
Guidance to support 14+
Starting a conversation about online pornography with teens can be difficult but this is the age that they will need the most support to ensure they develop a healthy understanding of sex and relationships and consent.
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How to talk about porn with teens
Talk about body image
- Encourage them to challenge unrealistic ideals on body image and be critical about images they see online and in the media
- Discuss their thoughts on body image and any concerns they may have about themselves
- Help them to accept bodies of all shapes and sizes and not to subscribe to an unrealistic body image ideal
- Be a role model by accepting your body and maintaining a positive attitude towards food
and exercise
Talk about relationships and sex
- Have an open conversation about their values and attitudes towards sex and relationships to be aware of what they believe and give them the right information
- Emphasise the importance of having love, respect, and trust in a healthy relationship and give them examples that they can look to
- Discuss the importance of ‘safe sex’ and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases
- Help them develop coping strategies when it comes to dealing with pressure from friends to watch porn,
have sex or send nudes - Talk about what consent looks like in a relationship
- You can encourage them to visit the Disrespect Nobody website to learn more about consent and signs of relationship abuse
Talk about online porn
- Discuss the fact that porn doesn’t always show what sex is like in real life
- Talk about the ways that it may pressure others to look or behave in a certain way
- Encourage them not to use it as a source of ‘sexual education’ and mirror what they see
- Talk about how extreme porn can lead them to develop unrealistic expectations of sexual behaviours
- Talk about the importance of consent and the way women are portrayed
Parents’ guide to address issue of online pornography with teens
Dos & Don’ts to consider
- Stress that what they are seeing is often a conflation of sex and violence, is dictated by a handful of pornographers that use extreme acts to shock people into watching and has little bearing on reality
- Talk about unrealistic expectations, from hairless bodies to fake breasts
- Highlight sexualised images when you see them (especially in day-to-day places like music videos, magazines and advertising)
- Ask them to think critically about what they see online
- Have an open door policy, be patient, be on their side.
- Allow pornographers to talk to them before you
- Make them feel guilty about what they have seen, it’s important that your child can talk to you about it
- Forget to check in with them regularly
We’ve created an advice hub to offer parents more tips and advice to help protect children and young people from online pornography.