What is cyberbullying?

Online safety advice video on cyberbullying

Unlike bullying offline, cyberbullying can follow a victim wherever they go through social media networks, gaming platforms and over messaging.

Quick tips
5 things you need to know about cyberbullying

• It can happen 24/7 repeatedly on a range of apps, games and devices
• It can reach a larger number of people and increase the chance that others will join in the bullying
• Children can’t see the impact of their words so may post or share something without thinking
• It can be anonymous so it’s harder to see who’s behind it
• It’s growing and can consist of harassment, threats, exclusion, defamation, and manipulation

Things to know about cyberbullying

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More on this page

• How is cyberbullying different from face-to-face bullying?
• What forms can cyberbullying take?
• What impact can cyberbullying have on young people?
• Other impacts cyberbullying can have on a child
• Cyberbullying facts and statistics
• What are the signs my child might be experiencing cyberbullying?
• The difference between cyberbullying and abuse
• Cyberbullying terms and definitions
• Resources to learn about more cyberbullying
• Featured cyberbullying articles

How is cyberbullying different from face-to-face bullying?

• Cyberbullying is often harder to get away from
• Young people can be bullied anywhere, any time – even when they’re at home
• It can reach a vast audience in a matter of seconds
• It’s easier for perpetrators to repeatedly bully others just by simply copying and pasting hurtful comments and images multiple times
• It can offer a degree of anonymity to the perpetrator
• It’s difficult to police and to punish
• There is often some form of evidence (e.g. screenshot, text message)

What forms can cyberbullying take?

• Threats and intimidation
• Harassment and stalking
• Defamation
• Rejection and exclusion
• Identify theft, hacking into social media accounts and impersonation
• Publicly posting or sending on personal information about another person
• Manipulation

What impacts can cyberbullying have on young people?

• Mentally: feeling upset, embarrassed, stupid, even afraid or angry
• Emotionally: feeling ashamed, guilty or losing interest in the things they love
• Physically: tired (loss of sleep), or experiencing symptoms like stomach aches and headaches

Other impacts cyberbullying can have on a child

According to UNICEF, cyberbullying can dramatically impact the mental health of young people. The effects can last a long time and negatively impact a young person in many ways.

As well as this, it can spark feelings of fear for young people. Our 2023 survey found that 77% of children that experienced online abuse found it ‘scary’.

Below, Child Trauma Psychotherapist Catherine Knibbs highlights the impacts of bullying behaviours on a child exhibiting them:

Embarrassment

Embarrassment is about looking like a ‘fool’ to others but having the resilience to ‘laugh it off’. Neuroscientifically, it’s something you can recover from pretty quickly.

In your child, you might notice their embarrassment by the shyness they show when trying to discuss cyberbullying. They might say ‘you’ll laugh at me’ or something similar. However, there’s still that willingness to talk about it.

You can help your child by explaining that sometimes we feel silly, but that feeling will pass. If we’ve done something silly (like name-calling to join in with others/peers), realising our mistake and apologising can help repair relationships.

You can ‘normalise’ this behaviour if it is accidental and not intended to be vicious. Think about how we laugh at some TV programmes that show silly human behaviour. However, it’s important to highlight that intentional hurtful behaviour is very different.

Guilt

Guilt is a feeling that a child showing bullying behaviours is more likely to carry as they recognise they ‘did something bad’.

Quite often. children will stay quiet and secretive, avoiding you. They might say things like ‘you’ll ground me’, ‘you’ll get mad’, ‘you’ll take away my phone’ or similar words, because they expect that you will punish them for the act of doing something bad.

We can help our children here by explaining that they made a bad choice, that the choice has consequences and that the choice they made has affected another person. This allows for a resilient feeling of being able to ‘make up for the bad choice’, which in brain terms is a healthy response to building a more compassionate child for the future.

Quite often in my therapy room, I ask parents not to reflect too much on the aspect of ‘pointing out the victims’ feelings too much’ as this adds to the feeling of both guilt and shame.

Shame

Both victim and perpetrator can encounter shame, which often displays as ‘I am bad’. This is usually easier to spot by behaviours and words that reflect a lack of self-esteem or self-worth. Children experiencing feelings of shame might say things like ‘nobody likes me’, ‘I’m no good’ and ‘you’ll hate me’. These children are suffering both emotionally and physically.

In a state of shame, the body begins to produce chemicals that are not helpful for brain development, empathy and compassion. The child begins to withdraw inwards or act outwardly, such as through aggression.

We can help our children here, not by over-praising them, but by connecting with them. Reflecting to them that we know what shame feels like (most of us do!) and how difficult it is can help them feel less alone. This can also reduce the likelihood that they will act out in those aggressive or otherwise harmful ways.

Cyberbullying facts and statistics

What are the signs my child might be experiencing cyberbullying?

• Ignoring electronic devices suddenly or unexpectedly
• They seem nervous when using their devices
• Avoidance when talking about the internet
• Reluctance to go to school or take part in usual social activities
• Any changes in general behaviour such as becoming withdrawn, angry or lashing out
• Unexplained stomach upsets

Your child might also be reluctant to tell you that they are worried about cyberbullying. So it’s important to look out for the signs listed above.

The difference between cyberbullying and abuse

Some extreme forms of cyberbullying go beyond bullying. Child-on-child abuse, ‘sextortion’ (also known as child sexual exploitation) and harassment have elements of bullying, but they can cause more harm.

What is child-on-child abuse?

Child-on-child abuse is abusive behaviour that ranges from sexting to grooming between those under 18.

What is online hate?

Online hate is language or actions that target a characteristic of a person or group of people in the digital space.

What is child sexual coercion?

Child sexual exploitation is sometimes called ‘sextortion’. It refers to extorting sexual images from children.

Cyberbullying terms and definitions

Online bullying can take many shapes but not all forms are easy to understand. Explore the different types of cyberbullying and bullying behaviours below.

• Baiting: to intentionally make a person angry by saying or doing things to annoy them
• Catfishing: stealing someone’s profile or setting up fake profiles to lure people into starting online relationships
• Cyberstalking: sending repeated and frequent messages that include real threats of physical harm
• Dissing: sending or posting information that’s intended to damage someone’s reputation
• Exclusion: deliberately excluding someone from online conversations, games and activities
• Flaming: sending angry and abusive online messages to intentionally provoke someone into starting an argument
• Fraping: logging into someone else’s account, impersonating them or posting inappropriate content in their name
• Griefing: abusing and angering people through online gaming
• Harassment: targeting an individual or group with persistent and offensive messages which could develop into cyberstalking
• Outing: publicly sharing personal, private or embarrassing information, photos or videos about someone online
• Roasting: ganging up on an individual online and sending offensive abuse until the victim is seen to ‘crack’. sometimes a child will request to be roasted as a form of self-harm” and link to the self-harm hub
• Trolling: deliberately posting provocative and insulting messages about sensitive subjects or inflicting racism or misogyny on an individual

Cyberbullying resources to support children

Use the following resources to teach children about cyberbullying to help them recognise
when it happens.

Online bullying stories

Visit Digital Matters

Tackling online hate

The Online Together Project