Anna is a mum of two boys aged 13 and nearly 10, who are both on the autism spectrum. They live in Manchester. Anna has been pretty strict about devices and games, and it’s only been in the last few years that she’s allowed their children to play games like Minecraft and Roblox.
Have your children encountered upsetting or inappropriate content online?
“Unfortunately, both my kids have come across inappropriate language and themes online,” says Anna, despite them mostly playing with friends and family they know. “We know one of the risks of online gaming is that other people can add players to the party,” she explains. “This means that sometimes inappropriate comments are made by kids who are a bit older or not aware of what is going on.”
Do your children know how to block and report users or content?
Anna says that she taught her children how to block people from a young age. “They both know what to do if they’re uncomfortable.” She highlights that she makes sure “they understand that blocking and reporting are there for a reason, and it’s okay to use them.”
She also emphasises that her children know they can come to her if something goes wrong. “They won’t get into trouble. By telling us, we can have a conversation about it.”
Have your children ever disagreed on whether something online needed to be reported?
“We’ve had a few times where we don’t all agree on what’s okay and what’s not,” says Anna. “For example, we’ve disagreed on what language is appropriate, and what topics are appropriate to speak about and which ones aren’t.”
She finds these boundaries particularly difficult with her eldest son. “He sometimes finds it hard to draw the distinctions between what’s appropriate and not.”
She says they’ve also struggled when it comes to deciding what games her children are allowed to play.
How do your children deal with online conflict or negativity?
Anna says her eldest son can become defensive when others are being mean. “He tends to answer back, which escalates things further. He also struggles to understand when people are just having banter and not actually trying to offend him.”
She says that her eldest finds it easy to block others. However, when he disagrees that an action needs to be taken, “that can cause meltdowns. It’s a balance of helping them understand when it’s okay to walk away from a situation.”
What advice would you give to other families with multiple neurodivergent children?
“The biggest bit of advice I have is to just keep talking,” says Anna. “Have open, honest conversations and make sure they know they can come to you about anything.”
She also says that they keep consoles in a central place rather than in bedrooms. “That way, we can keep an eye on what they’re playing, what they’re saying and who they’re talking to.”
Lastly, Anna highlights the importance of blocking and reporting for supporting neurodivergent children’s mental wellbeing. “Many autistic children struggle with picking up social cues, so they may not recognise when someone is being manipulative or unkind. Teaching them that they don’t have to engage with toxic people—and that it’s okay to remove themselves from a bad situation—gives them a sense of control.
“I always want our home to be a safe space for them to be able to have fun, but engaging with others online can make it challenging.”
