Get ready for a digital festive season

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i also thought it would be really
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interesting to speak
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about the importance of giving kids a
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sense of control and i think a lot of
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that comes
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with having a discussion that kind of
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takes stock of their last year and it's
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a great time to do that the festive
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season
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you know comes at the end of the year so
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kind of looking back and taking stock
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is is kind of an important family ritual
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to begin because i think in some ways
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it allows one to make sense of the
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difficult stuff and and celebrate the
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good stuff
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so i think one of the first things that
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you're going to want to speak about is
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obviously control right it was a really
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difficult time for everyone feeling out
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of control i think especially with kids
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who
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kind of absorb other people's anxieties
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it was everywhere so
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you know make a point of saying hey how
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did it feel you know not you know having
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to live with all that uncertainty what
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came out of it
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what did you learn about your ability to
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cope and i think this is key as well
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the idea that it was really tough but
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look they got through it what did they
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use kind of elicit from them
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what they did you know they might say
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well actually it really helped speaking
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to you
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or it really helped when you know i read
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my favorite book or played my favorite
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game at night because i took my my mind
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off of it
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you know whatever they do it's about
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kind of reinforcing the idea that
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yes they can't control everything but
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they can always control their response
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to it and that's something that you're
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there
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to help them do the second thing you
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should kind of speak about at this time
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as well
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is communication right again their ways
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of communicating like everyone's
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will have been sort of hindered or at
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least changed by what happened this year
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so speak to them about okay well how did
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that work what was the hardest thing
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about it
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you know what did you find surprisingly
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easy maybe that you know through
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communicating more online they became
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better friends i know with someone they
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were playing a game with
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and that's great so the next question is
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then how do you take this forward
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into 2021 how does this kind of
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you know how do we make sure this is
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something that grows and you get
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something out of
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it's really key to ensure that that kind
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of sense of
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you know communication is reinforced the
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importance and how they might use
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it and i think the final thing that i i
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think is important to speak about is
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worry
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worry is a fascinating thing you know in
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some ways i think a lot of people feel
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and i think it's true of kids and adults
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that worry serves a protective function
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if i worry about something
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then somehow it might not happen but of
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course that isn't the case
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but it's great to kind of have a chance
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to speak to kids what are you worried
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about next year you know for a lot of
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kids it might be going back to school
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they got so used to being at home
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or spending you know less time
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connecting online
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or the exact opposite you know speaking
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to them kind of getting them to
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discuss their worries and also discuss
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the things that
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they may be over worrying about helping
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point out that maybe this is
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kind of an exaggerated worry it won't
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happen or something that you can help
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with
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ultimately what you want to do is ensure
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that they feel that while this has been
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a difficult year
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there's good that's come out of it and
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the stuff that was difficult they were
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resilient enough to cope with having
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that view of themselves
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is going to be key lastly i think it's
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important to speak about
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how we can ensure our kids are getting
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their emotional five a day and the same
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way we speak about the importance of
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getting five fruits and vegetables
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into our diet for their health
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emotionally speaking it's really
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important
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that they're doing some things that sort
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of feeds into their sense of well-being
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the first of these is meaningful
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connection now by that i don't mean you
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have to have sort of really deep long
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talks
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all the time but i do think it's
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important that you're able to have a
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cuddle to speak to them about something
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that touched them that day whether it's
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in a good way or in a bad way
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to ensure that they feel listened to the
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second thing that i would say
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is play now a lot of kids kind of are
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doing a lot of this online because
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they're able to but i think offline it's
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just as important so if you can
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organize play dates within their bubble
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make sure they go out and you have a
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walk or
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you know play with a dog or their
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siblings or with you the idea of
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moving and kind of engaging in that kind
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of physical play and that physical
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movement
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is really important for their emotional
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well-being i think the third one is talk
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about
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um a sense of purpose right so what is
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it that you plan to do that day
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you know even if it's we plan to have a
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pajama day where we're doing
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nothing having that planning in their
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head this is what we're gonna do
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is great it makes them feel contained
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and safe and in control
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um kind of along with this relaxation
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you know this will have been a really
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taxing time for kids going
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from online from online learning to
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offline learning to
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kind of you know many of them being sent
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home school would have been confusing
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not seeing their friends in the same way
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so i think just making sure you do
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things that are relaxing for them and
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for you as a family
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is really key and i think finally really
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importantly
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every day should be punctuated by
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something that gives them a sense
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of mastery that they're good at or
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pleasure that they just enjoy doing and
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i think just sort of remember it so at
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the end of the day
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what was the best thing about today what
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do you think you know what stuck out in
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your mind so kind of
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beginning to train their mind to look
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out for the good stuff that'll kind of
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you know stand them in good stead when
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it comes to good mental health because
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what you're doing is you're training
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your brain
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to look for the good stuff out there
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rather than perhaps focusing on the
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worries that there have been so many of
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this year
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well i really hope that this helped and
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i hope you have
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an amazing holiday season if you want
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more information
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get over to internetmatters.org we've
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got lots of great tips and videos out
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there
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in the meantime from me dr linda
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papadopoulos and
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everybody at internet matters we wish
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you very happy holidays
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you